Why are some couples happier than others? What is the “secret” for a great relationship? With certain couples it is clear there is something about the way they interact that makes it obvious they have a unique and genuine connection.
Even if you’re in a good relationship, you can’t help but wonder: What do they know that I don’t? And if you’re single, you might look at these couples and attribute it all to chemistry or destiny. But it turns out that people in great relationships live by a few basic rules and they make these rules a priority in their day-to-day lives together. Consider these habits that can help you create a strong, nurturing relationship.
Great relationships are based on realistic expectations
Great relationships take work and thoughtfulness every day
Great relationships need communication know-how
Great relationships turn negatives into positives
Great relationships have balance
Today’s Great Relationship Habit: Great relationships are based on realistic expectations
Forget what you see in the movies or on television. In other words, real relationships aren’t anything like what you see in the movies full of non-stop romance, candlelight dinners and whirlwind trips to exotic locations. Real relationships take effort, time and commitment. Great relationships just don’t happen because two people love each very much, great relationships happen because not only do two people love each other very much, they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of time into the relationship – day after day.
Being in love is not like falling in love, says relationship expert Dr. Phil. “The myth too many people believe is that the ecstatic emotion that one feels when first falling for someone new is real love. But it is only the first stage of love and it is humanly impossible to remain in that stage.”
The key point here is people in healthy and positive relationships have a fundamental understanding of the proper and appropriate expectations for a stable and long-lasting relationship. They understand that not all days will be full or passion and romance. Similarly, they understand that rough spots in a relationship may only be temporary if good communication is present to work through these times.
A good way to look at this is to consider not getting too excited with the very high “highs” or too concerned with the very low “lows.” Both are momentary at best, and will not define the true nature and scope of the relationship over a long period of time. By reframing these extremes, you will be left with the right measure of balance and the right set of expectations to build a quality and sustainable relationship for many years to come.
Next: Great relationships take work and thoughtfulness every day
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As someone who spent years watching movies and thinking to myself “When can I find that?”, I appreciate you pointing out that you must have realistic expectations. The butterflies will fade and you will realize that love is not romantic gestures, its the little things. Its not eating the last popsicle because you know the other would like it, holding hands, and just being considerate of each other.
A great relationship takes time to develop and will change over time. Being realistic is important but so too is having and sharing a dream.
Communication, effective communication, is key to any good relationship.
The guidelines you put forward here are excellent in helping people identify ways in which to improve their relationship.