I’m getting the sense that as many of you read this week’s series on the 5-Day Success Challenge you are blowing this off, or may think this is another one of those false claims of being able to improve your life in just five days.

This is not case.

The point of this series is to begin the process of acknowledging there may be certain things, or habits, you are doing now that are keeping you from doing, or being, what you really want in your life.

The challenge, then, is to simply acknowledge these habits.

The purpose of this 5-day challenge is to begin making a shift in your life away from where you are right now (point A) to where you want to be (point B). It begins with looking at your daily habits; identifying the habits you want to begin to change; and by taking baby steps, at first, in order to start moving forward in the direction you want to go.

The 5-Day Success Challenge is not a formula for overnight success. It takes hard-work and commitment. If you haven’t started the process, begin today, right now. You will be amazed what you can accomplish in a very short period of time.

Here’s a review:

1. Get in touch with the areas in your life you would like to change and have more success. Don’t try to boil the ocean between now and Friday. Rather, consider three “quick wins” that will help you with creating new habits that will build the foundation to support longer term success.

2. Write down the three things you want to do differently, things you are not doing now, but would like to begin to do that will give you a greater sense of success, accomplishment and purpose in your life.

3. Performing new actions will lead to creating new habits. Be aware of the habits you want to learn to change. Also be aware that the bad habits may interfere with your progress.

4. Share. There seems to be a higher sense of accountability when things are shared. I invite you to email me with the three things you want to begin learning to change in your life.

5. Above all set realistic expectations. The goal on day five is not that your three new habits or actions have delivered you to the success you have always hoped for in your life. But rather, by Friday you will have summoned the courage to indeed take those first few baby steps. By day five you will have learned how to begin stepping through the fear that has held you down for far too long. By the fifth day you will see the progress you are making and my hope is this will give you the encouragement to keep going.

So, how am I doing?

On Day One, I shared my quick-wins. Now half way through the challenge, here is where I am in the process:

1. I want to begin mending the strain and conflict that exists in the relationship with my brother. I fully acknowledge that I am responsible for the tension. This week I want to begin reaching out to him and hope to put our relationship back on track.

Status: Yesterday I sent my brother an email. To begin making this shift, it was important for me to take the time to put my true thoughts and feelings in writing. He replied, positively. I will call him today

2. I need to back off the gas, just a little, and make more time to enjoy the things in my life that are important to me.

Status: I have decided to take a couple of vacation days today and tomorrow – right in the middle of the work week. I’m looking forward to having a couple of days to myself to be able to reenergize and re-focus on my needs and goals.

3. Finally, I will commit to Steve Pavlina’s Million Dollar Experiment. The goal is to generate one million dollars of additional wealth for each person who chooses to participate. For too long in my life, I have felt unworthy and not very confident with thinking that I deserve to have great success and wealth. My purpose in living this daily intention is to begin moving to the life I have always wanted to create.

Status: I review this intention each morning. To be honest, this is the one I’m struggling with the most. On one level the thought of receiving one million dollars so I can direct the majority of my time and effort in developing and promoting The Next 45 Years is exciting to say the least. But, those old tapes are still playing in my head telling me that I’m not worthy or capable. My hope is by Friday I can begin to change-out these old tapes with new messaging that tells me that I am indeed worthy to receive whatever my heart desires. This will be a primary focus for me over the next two days.

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Welcome to Day 2 of the 5-Day Success Challenge.

At times it may be painful to begin the process of leaving your comfort zone. Often times what we each define as “success” eludes us because we are fearful of taking that first step out of what we know – even though it’s not what we want.

But taking that first step won’t kill you; even if it may feel that way. It may be painful at first, but there is very little suffering involved. After all, there is a big difference between being in pain and true suffering.

This story illustrates the distinction.

There once was a man who was sentenced to 25 years of backbreaking labor. His wrists were tied to the handle of a huge wheel that was inlaid in the wall. His job was to turn the wheel 10 hours a day.

For years, day in and day out, the prisoner would wonder what he was doing with this wheel. What was the meaning of his work? What was on the other side of this wall? Was he grinding grain? Pulling up water? Moving some sort of conveyer belt?

For 25 years he contemplated the meaning of his work, and for 25 years he spun that wheel. It was grueling, but he survived. When his sentence was complete he was released from prison. The first thing he did was run to the other side of the wall to see what he had been doing all this time. What did he see?

Nothing!

There was nothing attached to the wheel. For 25 years, 10 hours a day, he was spinning a wheel for absolutely no purpose. When the man realized his true sentence, he collapsed and died.

The prisoner was able to survive 25 years of backbreaking labor, but when he realized that it was all for nothing, he couldn’t survive for another moment.

So what’s the difference between pain and suffering?

Pain has a purpose.

Suffering is true torture because it has no meaning. Pain is bearable. Suffering for no reason is devastating.

Therefore, the pain you may feel as you take those first few steps into a new direction is a good thing and is purposeful. It shows you are trying and making an attempt to do things differently in order to get different results in your life. It shows you are stretching yourself and pushing yourself, which can be very uncomfortable, and painful, at times.

For me, real suffering would look like giving up on my dreams and goals; suffering would be quitting and wondering for the rest of my life if I gave up too soon.

5-Day Success Challenge Reset

Yesterday, I suggested you write down three “quick wins” or habits you would like to begin changing this week. An important step in achieving success is to begin doing things a little differently in your life.

Refer back to this list. Are you actively working on nurturing these new habits? Do you feel yourself moving out of your comfort zone? Does this feel painful? If the answer is “Yes,” then I would suggest you are experiencing growing pains and you are indeed making progress. Remember, think baby steps at first.

Tomorrow, on Day 3, I will give you an update on how I’m progressing with my list.

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The purpose of this 5-day challenge is to begin making a shift in your life away from where you are right now (point A) to where you want to be (point B). It begins with looking at your daily habits; identifying the habits you want to begin to change; and by taking baby steps, at first.

Here are the components of the The 5-Day Success Challenge:

1. Get in touch with the areas in your life you would like to change and have more success. Don’t try to boil the ocean between now and Friday. Rather, consider three “quick wins” that will help you with creating new habits that will build the foundation to support longer term success.

2. Write down the three things you want to do differently, things you are not doing now, but would like to begin to do that will give you a greater sense of success, accomplishment and purpose in your life and will help you with moving from point A to point B.

3. Performing new actions will lead to creating new habits. Be aware of the habits you want to learn to change. Also be aware that the bad habits may interfere with your progress. Acknowledge these bad habits and don’t give them the power to keep you from moving forward.

4. Share. There seems to be a higher sense of accountability when things are shared. I invite you to email me with the three things you want to begin learning to change in your life. With your permission, I will share your list so we can all support and encourage you, and so we can receive motivation and inspiration from walking beside you.

5. Above all set realistic expectations. The goal on day five is not that your three new habits or actions have delivered you to the success you have always hoped for in your life. But rather, by Friday you will have summoned the courage to indeed take those first few baby steps. By day five you will have learned how to begin stepping through the fear that has held you down for far too long. By the fifth day you will see the progress you are making and my hope is this will give you the encouragement to keep going.

My List

Since I have asked you to share, please allow me to begin.

1. I want to begin mending the strain and conflict that exists in the relationship with my brother. I fully acknowledge that I am responsible for the tension. This week I want to begin reaching out to him and hope to put our relationship back on track. The ball is clearly in my court. I need to change the bad habits of ignoring his phone calls and not making time for him in my life.

2. I need to back off the gas, just a little, and make more time to enjoy the things in my life that are important to me. Between family responsibilities, my job and writing for the The Next 45 Years leaves me little time for other activities. I need to get back to reading (I received the new ESPN magazine a week ago, and have not even cracked the cover.)

3. Finally, I will commit to Steve Pavlina’s Million Dollar Experiment. The goal is to generate one million dollars of additional wealth for each person who chooses to participate. For too long in my life, I have felt unworthy and not very confident with thinking that I deserve to have great success and wealth. My purpose in living this daily intention is to begin moving to the life I have always wanted to create. For me, success would be to continue growing and developing The Next 45 Years in order to extend its reach and touch more people’s lives.

Please consider sharing your 5-Day Success Challenge, too. Tomorrow, I will give you a full update on my progress.

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Remember every Sunday there will be a new carnival containing your thoughts, articles and inspirational stories will be shared. You may participate too by visiting the submission form at the bottom of this issue.

Edith Yeung begins this week’s carnival with The Secret Quotes posted at Edith Yeung.Com: Dream. Think. Act.. Read some of the best quotes regarding “The Law of Attraction.”

Lorraine Cohen presents Gratitude – The Doorway to More Happiness and Joy! posted at Powerfull Living. Learn a great tip to attract more happiness and joy inyour life!

Tupelo Kenyon presents Choose Excellence and Lose Mediocrity posted at Tupelo KenyonWhat if you knew that a life of excellence was lurking right around the corner, if you would only prioritize your moments in such a way so that you could recognize it. Take an objective look at the various activities of your life. Get inspired to lose the mediocre to make room for something better.

Sandy Murphey presents Are You A Cultural Creative? posted at Evolving Times.

FitBuff presents Home Workouts: Hotel Room Edition posted at FitBuff.com’s Total Mind and Body Fitness Blog. You should already know exercise not only improves your physical health, but your mental and emotional well-being as well. But, what if you don’t have time to get to the gym, or you’re on the road? This is a great video that shows you a quick and effective workout your can perform any time, any place!

Aparna presents Beauty and Personality Grooming: Count to 10 to Control Anger posted at Beauty and Personality Grooming.

John Kinde presents Halloween Humor — Get Dressed To Thrill! posted at Humor Power. A fun article about planning a Halloween costume.

Matthew Spears presents Joy at All Times posted at Loving AwarenessWe tend to think of joy as somehow mutually exclusive to other experiences. If we’re feeling sad, then of course it’s impossible to have joy. Likewise if we’re having a fight or our business is having a downturn. This article points out how they’re not exclusive, and helps the invitation of joy into your life.

John Hill presents How to Stop Worrying posted at Universe Of Success.

Carole Fogarty presents Eat, pray, love a journey of spiritual excitement posted at THE HEALTHY LIVING LOUNGEDo you feel the calling deep inside for a good dose of spiritual spring cleaning?

Hueina Su presents The Gift of Receiving posted at Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, saying, “A bewildering encounter outside of Home Depot made me pause and ponder the importance of this gift.”

Vern L presents Your TV is No More Innocuous than a Terrorist Infiltration posted at Aim for Awesome!.

Jeanie Marshall presents JMviews Meditation and Empowerment»Blog Archive posted at JMviews Meditation and Empowerment. This article is the first of nine on the topic of personal empowerment and what it means to a variety of people. You can see the last article with links to all in the series at http://www.jmviews.com/?p=354

Tina presents Valuable networking tips for professional and personal growth posted at Life Balanced.

SJ Yee presents The FAQ Book on Public Speaking posted at Personal Development for the Book Smart.

Jirel presents How to Build Your Own Identity(1 of 2) posted at Positive and Successful Life Style tips.

Brip Blap presents stopping negative thoughts posted at brip blap. Type “stopping negative thoughts” into Google and you’ll get almost 2.5 million results. People recognize that although they have negative thoughts there is nothing that requires negative thoughts for health or mental stability. I believe you can live easily without them. Actually stopping them, though, is a whole different problem.

Tezza presents 7 Keys To Creating The Life You Want Today posted at 4 Eva YoungThere is something to be said about the person who is willing to forge and create the life they want.

S. Palmer presents Expect to get the best out of life Mystic Eye posted at Mystic Eye.

Luke Muehlhauser presents 100 Free Motivational Posters posted at lukeprog.com. Here are 100 motivational posters that demonstrate the NON-value of personal development aphorisms.

Warren Wong presents How To Be Genuinely Interested In People posted at Personal Development for INTJs. This articles shows why you should show genuine interest in people and how to go about doing it.

Anmol Mehta presents 5 Key Principles for Living an Enlightened & Good Life posted at Mastery of Meditation, Enlightenment & Kundalini Yoga. A good life and enlightened living is made possible by adhering to these five key universal principles.

Scott Fusco presents Thinking big vs. Thinking small posted at Personal development coaching Scott Fusco . net.

Brad Bollenbach presents The Joy of Living Dangerously posted at 30 sleeps blog. This is an article about the importance of living outside of your comfort zone. It suggests that security is an illusion, and that being truly happy requires taking risks.

Judy Braley presents Creating a Positive Attitude posted at growfromwithin.comFor those of you who, like me, were not blessed with a positive attitude as our constant state of being, here are suggestions of how to develop and maintain one!

Claudia Juarez presents 9 Keys to Recover Your Motivation posted at Reach your FULL POTENTIAL.

Jon Dyer presents Are You Living The Dream Or Dreaming Of Living? posted at Jon Dyer’s Blog.

Conan Stevens presents Fear Of Heights posted at Conan Stevens Online, saying, “Here’s how I defeated my fear…”

Sandy Murphey presents How to be a Positive Force In The Blogosphere And Beyond posted at Evolving Times.

Ralph Jean-Paul presents Dreaming of Success posted at Potential 2 Success. Can your daydreams really help you succeed? Many successful people have attributed their success to their ability to see their success before they are a success.

Dominic Tay presents The Economy of Personal Development posted at Dominic Tay Dot Com. Do you have the will to cope up with the fast pace of the corporate world and remains on the peak of success? It’s important that you focus on your long term goal and identify ways on how you can break into the tough competition in the business world. Read the four steps to your personal development and how these steps help you gain economic and personal success.

Charles H. Green presents Mummers, Trust, and the Threat of Violence posted at Trust Matters. Trust exists at that interesting boundary line, where you must take a step forward not being entirely sure that there will be solid ground to support your step.

Thanks to everyone who submitted articles. You are invited to submit your articles and inspirational stories to the next edition of the Personal Development and Happiness Carnival using our carnival submission form.

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To illustrate, the following is a letter from a college student to her parents:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Since I left for college I’ve been remiss in writing. I’m sorry for my thoughtlessness in not writing before. I’ll bring you up to date now, but before you read on Please Sit Down. Are you sitting down? It is essential that you are sitting down.

I’m getting along pretty well now from the skull fracture and concussion I got the night I jumped out the window of my dorm the night of the fire and I’m healing pretty well now. I only get those sick headaches about once a day.

Fortunately, the fire in my dorm and the jump was witnessed by an attendant at the local gas station. He ran over and took me to the hospital and he continued to visit me there. When I got out of the hospital I had no where to live. He was kind enough to let me share his basement apartment. It’s kind of small, but cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and we are planning to get married. We haven’t set the exact date yet but I know it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes, Mom and Dad I’m pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being Grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same tender care and devotion you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection which I have carelessly caught from him. I know however, that you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated he is ambitious. Although, he is of a different race and religion than ours I know your often expression of tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by that.

In conclusion, now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that really there was no dorm fire, I didn’t have a concussion nor a skull fracture. I wasn’t in the hospital, I’m not pregnant, I’m not infected, and I don’t even have a boyfriend. However, I am failing history and science and I wanted you to see these marks in their proper perspective.

This letter, perhaps a little extreme, attempts to make the point of the need to keep things in their proper perspective. The outcome of a balanced outlook, or perspective, of your life’s circumstances is appreciation and acceptance.

This is not to say that unfortunate situations should not be addressed and corrected, if necessary. But everything is relative. Meaning you can qualify this college student’s failing two courses because at least she is safe and healthy.

In this letter, the young lady is really just asking her parents to consider having the perspective to be grateful that she is alive and well. Although her failing grades will and should be addressed, she just be wants to be valued and appreciated as their daughter.

Keeping the proper perspective will lead to less anxiety and disappointment and will create opportunities for greater happiness, fulfillment and connection.

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The power and theme of the show still resonates with me today. The message in Rent tells us there is No Day But Today. It reminds us that life is indeed temporary with no guarantees. But rather than living in fear, we should embrace and live each day to its fullest. Larson’s musical tells us not to rent our lives, but to own them.

But how do we do this? No Day But Today does not have to be a cliché, feel-good expression – it can be a choice. The following list of 10 things to say or do every day helps me to get the most out of my life, each day – I hope it helps you, too.

1. Say “thank you” to anyone who has helped you or has made your day easier. This will show respect and acknowledge the efforts the others. Respect will be returned to you in due course.

2. Slow down and do nothing. Take about 15 minutes each day and grab a cup of coffee or tea and give yourself time to think about whatever it is you want to think about. You will be surprised at the inspiration that will come to you.

3. Complete one item on your “to do” list. Return the overdue telephone call, clean-up your email inbox, or get an oil change for you car. By accomplishing just one thing that has been gnawing at you, will give you a much-needed sense of relief and accomplishment.

4. Eat at least one good meal. Not to sound like your mother, but you are what you eat. Eat something nourishing and healthy each day.

5. Perform one act of random kindness. Hold the elevator door open for someone who is a few steps behind you or lift the bag and place it in the overhead bind on the airplane for someone who can’t manage this task. Kindness breeds more kindness. The concept of “paying it forward” is real and effective.

6. Listen, really listen to someone. Listen without judgments or criticism. Try to avoid any self-referencing and be fully present for whoever needs it.

7. Focus on one thing at a time. You can’t be all things to all people, not even to yourself.

8. Review your goals. If you have not put your goals in writing, do this today. There is a direct and proven correlation between people who have written, stated goals and their level of accomplishment compared to people who do not. Care to guess which group has the higher success rate with reaching their goals?

9. Say “No” more often. This was sound counterproductive, but it’s all about setting realistic boundaries for you. Show honor for your personal beliefs and convictions by not compromising who you are. Save your energy for the people and tasks that are the most important to you.

10. Say “I love you” to the people who you truly love and cherish. Do so with heart-felt sincerity. Love them as if this were their, and your, last day on earth. Don’t wait; tell them today because there is no day but today.

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A leap of faith, in its most common sense, is the act of believing in something without, or in spite of, any credible evidence. A leap begins when you don’t see it; or when you don’t even know why you are looking for it; or when you don’t even know why you are doing it, but you know and feel it’s the right thing to do. When you take a leap of faith you surrender what you think to be true and replace it with hope.

To achieve success in any area of your life requires a commitment to that success. Unfortunately, most people give up when they are so close to the finish line to achieve what their heart desires because their commitment lacks that leap of faith.

Ask yourself the following questions:

How many times have you reached for something, felt it so close and then gave up?
How many times have you thought “what if” but talked yourself out of going forward?
How many times have you decided to change your life, but you are still where you were?

For most, what holds us back from taking that leap is fear. What we know to be true, for better or for worse, is at least what we know. And in a way, we feel more comfortable with staying put, because the fear of moving forward paralyzes us.

This is where the faith piece comes in. When your heart begins to nudge you – pay attention. More times than not, your heart is saying that it is not satisfied with the status quo. It’s telling you about its hopes and dreams and is urging you to take a step forward in becoming open to the possibility of making significant changes in your life.

The problem becomes when you don’t why, or how the transformation process will take place or you don’t know what, exactly, will be waiting for you at the end of the journey. This is your fear casting doubts on your heart’s true desire.

It is not important at this point to figure how to do it. What is important is you believe you are worthy to receive whatever you hope and dream for in life. When you do this, a leap begins.

Think of a leap of faith this why: Would you rather take a leap of faith in the hopes of learning to fly or settle for falling like a bag of rocks?

No, as humans we cannot fly unaided. This question is just a metaphor to make the point that if you keep doing the same things you have always done, and don’t try something different; you will keep getting the same results you have always gotten in your life.

This doesn’t mean that we should throw careful and reasonable planning out of the window. For example, let’s say your heart’s true desire is to start and own your business. By all means you should create a business plan, do market analysis and consult with attorneys before making a quick of misinformed decision.

But when all of the data and recommendations come back suggesting this business venture will work, the final ingredient is sometimes based on making that leap of faith.

Many people live a life of regret, “If only I had this,” or “I wish I had not quit so early.” Having the courage to make a leap will trump regret every time. Even if the business venture doesn’t work-out long term, at least you know you are a person of conviction and courage. You are a person who will not be limited by fear. You are a person of choice. You are a person who listens to your heart’s true desire. When you do this, a leap begins.

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Next: 10 Things to Say or Do Everyday

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An elderly woman was taken to an emergency room and then was subsequently admitted to the hospital. During the admission process, she carefully removed her wedding ring, an anniversary ring and a pearl bracelet and handed the jewelry over to her son.

There is no question the sentimental and emotionally attachment to her jewelry was more valuable to her than the appraised value. She wanted to make sure these very special mementos of a life and a marriage filled with love, happiness and tenderness would be protected.

Her son, not wanting to scar or damage his mother’s precious heirlooms, carefully placed the items in a rubber surgical glove before placing them in his pocket.

Upon returning home later that evening after a long day at the hospital, the son was horrified to discover the glove was missing from his pocket. He assumed it had fallen out while helping to get his mother settled into her hospital room.

The son knew his mother would take the news very hard and become upset, and perhaps be a deterrent to her recovery. Instead, the man contacted the hospital to see if the rings and bracelet had turned-up in their lost and found department.

No luck. However, during the process of looking for the glove, a janitor came forward to state he had seen a glove that looked like it might have had something in it, but only thought it was trash and proceeded to throw the glove away.

Immediately, the hospital called the sanitation company that was contracted to remove the trash. The company reported the truck had indeed left the hospital and drove directly to the city’s landfill.

The son, a couple of family members, and the janitor all descended upon the landfill. The janitor was confident he would remember the bag of trash containing the invaluable surgical glove.

The son brought a video camera to record their actions as testimony to his mother of the effort and diligence they invested in attempting to recover her jewelry.

The truck carrying a day’s load of refuse had just made its deposit and the driver directed the hopeful recovery team to the exact spot. The group was united with a common cause, a purpose – find the jewelry that represented a lifetime.

The excitement of knowing the bag was somewhere to be found soon waned as the minutes turned into hours. The back-breaking work of bending over and combing through a seemingly endless supply of discarded, used and worthless items was tedious and discouraging. The janitor, however, was relentless. He kept telling the son and the other family members not to give up, because they were only five minutes from a miracle.

The son was growing more anxious and despondent by the minute. He knew that when his mother felt stronger, she would ask about her beloved jewelry. He did not want to disappoint someone who had given him so much.

The janitor, sensing the son’s anxiety, reminded him there were only five minutes from a miracle. The son, his family and the janitor kept looking.

With the moon beginning to fall in the sky, the night was slowly turning into morning. No glove or jewelry was to be found. No hope either. The video camera had just churned through the last back-up battery. The son was ready to shut it down, to quit, to give up.

The janitor kept shifting through the trash. Undaunted and unaware of the hours invested, he continued looking for a woman’s past because he would want someone to do the same for him someday. The connection to the human spirit sustained and motivated him to keep looking.

The son approached him and encouraged the janitor to end the fight. He did not; the janitor knew he was only five minutes from a miracle. As the group retreated, the son was sweeping away the trash with the toe of his boot as he walked dejectedly away from the pile of garbage when the janitor saw it. He immediately recognized it and knew the treasure it contained.

The janitor’s eyes said it all. The son knew this was it. He reached down and carefully opened the glove. The rings and bracelet, still glistering even after being buried under tons of trash, radiated hope and thanksgiving.

Miracles, but no free passes

In this story, we are all reminded of how invaluable hope and faith can be in our lives. It is our actions, our free will, that determine our course in life, but hope serves as the fuel to sustain us through the difficult times.

Five minutes from a miracle does not suggest we just sit back and do nothing. It doesn’t give us the privilege to indulge in destructive behavior, because, “who cares, I’m just five minutes from a miracle and will be rescued.”

No, we are defined by the choices we make, not by what happens to us.

In this story, the miracle happens because the janitor puts himself in the position for the miracle to happen. He kept working, moving forward and believing. He didn’t wait for something or someone else to do it for him. He did it himself.

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Next: A leap begins

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Although somewhat arbitrary and unscientific, this rating system does provide a good snapshot for how you may feel about a particular person, thing or issue. However, the most important component with this rating scale is not in determining the numerical value you give, but how that numerical value can be improved.

Here’s what I mean. Let’s say the question is “On a scale between 1- 10, how would you rate your effectiveness as a parent?” Perhaps the answer you offer is, “Seven.”

Not bad. Being a seven is pretty good. In fact, there are a lot of effective parents who would rate themselves as a seven. But, imagine if you were a 10. Think of the opportunities and resources you could provide your children. Think about how you would feel about yourself!

How would you rate your overall personal development? Are you achieving your goals? What is the level of happiness, achievement and success you feel in your life right now?

Whatever your answers happen to be and where you are in your life right now, these numerical values can be improved if you choose – beginning today, perhaps, if you make the choice.

It’s time to begin learning how to take your ratings for the “1-10” questions to the next level. In the example above regarding the rating of being an effective parent, let’s assume that your answer is “seven.” Rather than just putting that rating out there, ask yourself what would be three things you could do to become a 10. Likewise, if the answer you gave was a “six,” the next step would be to identify four things you could do to become a 10, etc.

A Word of Caution & Warning: Learning to become a 10 does not imply being a 10 makes you are perfect. It just means you are learning to maximize your talents and efforts to the best of your ability. It just means you are looking for ways to continue to grow and succeed. Perfection is impossible. There are no perfect 10s in life; just the pursuit of them, which is of remarkable value.

Acknowledge what’s keeping your stuck

The most significant obstacle that keeps most of us from moving up the rating scale is we are stuck. We are stuck with being a six as a spouse; our careers are at a five; and our level of happiness is at a three.

We get locked into a pattern and sometimes see no escape. We begin to think that what we have in life, is what we have in life and there are no other opportunities. Sometimes we really need the heavy roof that hangs over our heads to weaken, if only a little, in order to create a pin-hole small enough that a single beam of light can peer through to remind us that hope lives on the other side.

In the absence of this small miracle, we must create the pin-hole ourselves. We must make the decision – the choice, to pick up our heavy boots and stride forward. The pain of not knowing how to do so weighs us down. However, the mud can be knocked off and the beam of light can begin to poke through when we surrender our anxiety and replace it with hope and courage.

So, you must make the choice to ask a question like, “What are the three things I can do to become a better spouse or partner?”

Make a plan

The answer to this question begins with acknowledging what you do well, or right, as a partner. If you don’t know, ask. Find out the areas where you achieve. Ask your partner how he or she would rate you.

You must be open to feedback and resist the temptation to be defensive or argue. After your partner provides the answer, allow the rating to resonate with you for a while. Then ask (assuming you received a “six,” in this scenario), what are the six things you do well.

Take these in and soak up their value. Next, ask for the four things needed to be a better partner. Bingo – here is your plan. Rather than assuming what you need to do, your partner is telling you, first hand, to do these specific things, for example:

1. help me more with the chores around the house
2. allow me more personal time
3. be more romantic, at times
4. appreciate me and my contributions to the family more

You have a place to start now. You can begin to kick-off the mud that has kept you stuck and begin to move forward. These four items are not a report card; they are expressed wants and expectations of you. You choose if you want to begin learning how to do these things. Begin the process, slowly at first, to put energy behind making these a priority.

Learn to become a 10 in all areas of your life

This exercise is not just confined to your personal relationships. You can extend it to all areas of your life by following the same process.

At work, ask your co-workers and supervisor to give you a fair and unbiased rating. Recognize the areas where you are being effective and attempt to do more of those things. Likewise, ask for the feedback. Ask for the three, four or five things you could do that would help you and motivate you to achieve your professional goals.

Finally, rate yourself on a scale between 1-10. When you have a quiet moment, ask, “How happy am I, really?” Don’t rush yourself and be as real with yourself as you can to arrive at an answer. Don’t hide from the answer.

If it’s a “three,” then it’s a three; this doesn’t mean it always has to be a three, it just means it’s a three right now. Also, a three doesn’t mean you are being ineffective or morbidly depressed, it just means you could learn to increase and sustain your level of happiness.

Follow the process and take a look at the areas of your life that are making you happy. Perhaps you could put more time into these areas. Next, make a plan. Identify the six or seven things that you could choose to do that would make your happier. Don’t wait on any one else to bring you happiness – you must go after it!

Learning to become a 10 with your life is a process. The reality is you will never give yourself 10s across the board, nor should you. That’s not the point.

The point is to keep nourishing what’s working in your life, and do more of that. And at the same time, identify areas that could lead to greater personal growth and then begin to make a plan.

There is tremendous value in recognizing what you would like to change in your life. This is all the whole point of learning to become a 10.

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]]> http://thenext45years.wordpress.com/2007/10/15/learn-to-become-a-10/feed/ 0 calexb http://thenext45years.wordpress.com/2007/10/14/personal-development-happiness-carnival-issue-12/ http://thenext45years.wordpress.com/2007/10/14/personal-development-happiness-carnival-issue-12/#comments Sun, 14 Oct 2007 10:19:00 +0000 Alex Blackwell http://thenext45years.wordpress.com/2007/10/14/personal-development-happiness-carnival-issue-12/ ]]> Welcome to the 12th issue of the Personal Development & Happiness Carnival. This carnival is dedicated to people who want to share and receive ideas to improve the quality of their lives and relationships.

Remember every Sunday there will be a new carnival containing your thoughts, articles and inspirational stories will be shared. You may participate too by visiting the submission form at the bottom of this issue.

Lorraine Cohen starts this week’s carnival with Powerfull Living » Dream The Impossible Dream posted at Powerfull Living, learn why dreaming is so important to attracting what you desire.

Tristan gives us SMART Goal Setting 101: The Definitive Guide to Goal Achievement posted at The Synergy Institute. Life Coach Tristan Loo explains how to set and achieve SMART goals. At 4915 words, this is the most comprehensive article on goal setting on the internet. Learn and integrate these powerful goal setting techniques into your life to produce the good that you desire for yourself.

Tupelo Kenyon presents Meaningful Spiritual Relationships – Namaste Matters posted at Tupelo Kenyon. Celebrate life with this insight on how to take your personal relationships to a whole new level.

David B. Bohl offers New Perspective: How About A New Pair of Glasses for Everyone! posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, Bohl states, “If you wear glasses or contacts, or if you’ve ever seen someone put on a new pair of glasses, you understand that when you don new glasses, the world looks fresh and new.”

Matthew Spears gives up The unity in Love posted at Loving Awareness. Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward unity.

Wanda Grindstaff presents Wealth and Freedom – Get Clear on What they Really Mean! posted at Creating Abundant Lifestyles.

Danogo presents Dream Interpretation Machine Makes Instant Vivid Moving Symbols Online posted at Danogo.com – Discover. Inspiring . Media. Watch your dreams come true in a vivid online movie. Amazing dream machine claims to interpret your thoughts based on keywords.

Vern L asks What is the P-O-I-N-T of Life? posted at Aim for Awesome!.

Karen Murphy presents Reconnecting to Your Source posted at Loving Awareness.

Marco Richter presents Self Improvement posted at Self Improvement Emporium.

Yazan Manasrah provides good advice on Being Organized posted at The Blasted Crossing. Organization is an important aspect of your life, and as such it should be taken seriously.

Craig Harper presents The Power of an Idea. posted at Renovate your life with Craig. Who we are, how we are and what our life becomes, is not pre-determined; it’s a choice.

Meredith Mathews presents Eat Pray Love: 3 Rituals for your own Inner Journey. posted at Lemonade Stand. When in the corners of despair, one must rebuild the soul by finding his or her own path back from the darkness.

Scott Lee presents Focus : The Warm & Cold Approaches posted at Scott Free Thinking.

Kevin Blackwell presents Decoding the Secret – How to Best Use the Law of Attraction to Fulfill Your Soul’s Intention Part 1 of 2 posted at The Media Messiah.

Kevin Blackwell returns with Decoding the Secret – How to Best Use the Law of Attraction to Fulfill Your Soul’s Intention Part 2 of 2 posted at The Media Messiah.

S. Palmer presents The richer get richer while the poor get poorer posted at Mystic Eye.

Alex Marlin presents Most Educated People Have No Social Skills posted at Life Improvement Tips For Thin and Small People. Your are an educated person, so why are you not making it? Learn exactly what is keeping you back.

Jennifer Mannion presents Heal Pain Naturally: friends posted at Heal Pain Naturally. Friends are so valuable to your well being.

Rahul Bhambhani presents Form Strong Relationships by Having More to Offer » Take-20.com posted at Personal Development Advice, Tools to Improve the Quality of your Life. This article explains why it is important to invest in yourself before you can experience GREAT relationships in your life.

Dominic Tay presents Spell S_ccess posted at Dominic Tay Dot ComWhile there are many ways how to be successful, success is often misspelled. No matter how hard other people try achieving success, many still miss the most important ingredient of success: you.

FitBuff presents New Wii Fitness Game Coming Soon posted at FitBuff.com’s Total Mind and Body Fitness Blog. Want to have fun and lose weight at the same time? Who would’ve thought Nintendo of all people would make it possible?

Thanks to everyone who submitted articles. You are invited to submit your articles and inspirational stories to the next edition of the Personal Development and Happiness Carnival using our carnival submission form.

If you enjoyed today’s carnival, please donate to The Next 45 Years. Thank you.